Placebo Article for Open My Fly Magazine
Destination Rio S’wettiarmpit – Tibet
If you go, you’ll definetely need these fly patterns that you will not have the materials to tie, as nothing you currently have will work on this stream:
Co-ed Trout Getter
Hook: TMC 5262 (because Tiemco pays us to make sure we don’t give props to Mustad or those lowbrow inferior hook companies…you can only use TMC 5262 dammit)
Thread: Yellowish Brown 6/0 (because, you know, the color of the effin’ thread is so important)
Tail: Right rear leg flank fibers from a Spanish Flecked Egret
Rib: 0.788 mm Aluminum 6032 alloy wire
Abdomen: tan Australian Possum (incredibly important here, you know, the fish will discern the distinct Melbourne strain of Australian Possum from the Sidney strain)
Thorax: Rabbit, color to match naturals (I love this one. Rabbit. C’mere Bugs, let me wrap you to this hook)…
Okay, next up, the “average fish” pic. Have to show the photo of the largest fish the author caught on his “work” vacation and then deem it “an average Rio S’wettiarmpit brown trout”. That way, not only does the destination look extremely impressive due to the sheer enormity of fish, but when the duped reader actually goes there and doesn’t catch any to match the size of the photo’d fish then the author looks like a god. This quirk is not exclusive to magazines as messageboard posters sometimes pull this one off too.
Last but not least – the “If you want to become a true master
baiter, er, angler, follow these 10 rules” (because rules always come in groups divisible by 5.) The rules will be incredibly vague and, well, stupid.
Dumb gear reviews? I’ve yet to read a gear review that makes me salivate over a product. They generally compare the new stuff to new stuff. It’s typically always the arbitrary opinion of a self annointed expert. Price? Well, the company sent it to me free, what do I care? Then there’s always the suspicion factor. These companies provide advertising dollars, can the magazine truly be honest about the product?
I’ve let several subscriptions expire in the past year due to crap like this. I no longer need to feel validated as a fly fisherman in having my mailbox full of fly angling related materials. If it doesn’t impress me, it gets round filed. American Angler, Fly Rod & Reel, Fly Fisherman, etc. Not doing it for me anymore. I lack the coin to subscribe to Gray’s, but I like the format when I do get to thumb through one. Thisisfly is probably my favorite, albeit an online pub. Think I’m going to subscribe to The Drake too. I love the messageboard. I recently subscribed to Fish & Fly because the Okuma metal flybox offer was too sweet to pass up ($13 subscription and get a free 16 compartment/foam fly box…awesome). My first issue of Fish & Fly is actually pretty good. Some good photography and a few decent articles. However, the ‘best 3 weight’ gear review is dumb (see above). They used WF line in testing 3 weights (dumb, why would you use WF on a 3 wt? I wouldn’t consider a 3 wt a go to rod for long distance casting). The author says something about ‘how if you used DT line, it would probably be great close in’ showing how ignorant he is concerning the difference between DT and WF lines…there is no difference in the first 30′ of line. Then, like all other gear reviews, they take into consideration the ‘look and finish’ of the rod. Hey expert, let me decide what I like in finish and look of a rod…you give me stats and stress curves.
All these rags have pro’s and con’s. Ted Williams and John Gierach offset the ‘top 5 places to catch big trout’ garbage. Just thought I’d throw down the psmith gauntlet on publication critique. The journalists sucking on the teet of these mags would not like me as their editor.